if you buy me cute underwear i’ll model it for you
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perks of being my girlfriend
1) I will buy you hella cute lingerie
2) You are welcome to model said lingerie for me, preferably while sitting in my lap
3) I will bake you cookies and make you pizza and we can cuddle and watch netflix stuff
4) I’ll take you on boring dates like to farmer’s markets and farms and hiking but i will try to spice things up a bit and probably eat you out on a boulder in the forest so yeah
5) We can have cute sleepovers like every night and i will paint your nails and do your makeup and play with your hair and we will stay up late and talk about life and space and feminism and basically anything you want
6) When you’re on your period, I will take baths with you and take care of you and feed you chocolate and cuddle you if you cry and omg
7) I’ll text you funny selfies and songs that i want you to listen to and stuff that makes me think of you
8) I’ll play goofy games with you and take you shopping and take you to the movies and wine and dine you every single fucking night if that’s what you want
9) We can raise plants together and lots of puppies and kittens
10) Okay i’m really sad now and i want a girlfriend
“you’re an art model does that mean you’re NAKED?”
“yeah”
“whoa….those lucky artists ;)”
…buddy.
idk who started the idea that life drawing classes have anything sexy going on like. there’s at least ten people in the room and we’re all tired and covered in charcoal.
the dude in front who’s staring at my boobs has been trying to get the shading right for 10 minutes. he’s almost out of paint. he is crying.
The ice burg being frozen solid because there are NEVER ENOUGH SPACE HEATERS.
I was an artist’s model in uni since it paid better than any other student work position. Did a life drawing class one semester, despite it being an unheated old building in the winter evenings, because the instructor was a decent fellow who always had extra space heaters. So there I am one evening, exhausted from my team’s afternoon practice, but I’m in a comfortable position on a padded stool, ready to hold the position for like fifteen minutes. Space heaters all around me, spotlights on me to get shadows in interesting places.
Beyond the red glow of the heaters and the hot-white of the spotlights, the massive drafty room is dark and quiet, broken only by the instructor’s whispers and the scratch of charcoal on paper. Me, I’m just dozing, ‘cause my ancient dorm was heated with creaky old steampipes that never really got warm, and with the new extra-powered space heater alongside the others, that night was the warmest I’d been in a month. I dozed, basking in the glorious warmth.
And then I fell asleep.
And then I fell off the stool.
I woke up rather abruptly on the cold wooden platform, and looked up to see an entire ring of terrified and worried faces around me. Everyone had their hands up, ready to help me up, except no one had touched me. Naked chick laid out face-down on the floor, and all the men and women were suddenly acutely aware they couldn’t just grab a half-asleep dazed naked chick.
Fortunately someone had the bright idea to tear the sheet down from the backdrop, lay it over me as a wrap, and then everyone was quick to help me up.
After that, the instructor and students got used to taking turns talking to me, just to make sure I wasn’t dozing off. Which was weird, at first, because I’d done two semesters just being a silent prop, and now I was interacting. It gave the class a vibe completely unlike any other I’d modeled for, and it ended up one of my favorite modeling experiences.
postscript: months later, walking on campus with someone who’d eventually become my spouse, we passed some guys on the main path. One of them stopped, peered at me, and then said hello, excitedly, saying, “sorry, I didn’t recognize you, I’ve never seen you with your clothes on!”
This is honestly so delightful and accurate
God works fast but people who make gifs in the Marvel fandom work faster when a trailer is released
i also think intelligence is way too glorified and its seen as like the pinnacle of human worth when traits like compassion and goodness factor way more into our actual decisions+interactions
the most unrealistic thing about tv shows is how literally out of all the characters on the show no two characters have the same name??? like take any group of 20 white people i guarentee you like five of them are john
